


The Empath of Saggitaron

by Indigo777Ocean



Category: Lee Adama and Anastasia Dualla
Genre: Other general cast
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:27:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26413393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indigo777Ocean/pseuds/Indigo777Ocean
Summary: A curious look into what made Dee such an interesting character. Her feelings about her marriage and destiny.
Relationships: Lee "Apollo" Adama/Anastasia "Dee" Dualla
Kudos: 2





	The Empath of Saggitaron

**Author's Note:**

> Lee of all people should have seen, sensed her unhappiness and intervened but as usual he was too self absorbed to recognize her sadness. Sorry about that to Lee fans. I just remember The Original Series how much Apollo loved Serena. Though the writers never showed how much Dee meant to everyone, especially Lee, I thought it would be a peaceful explanation of her decision to end her life.

The Empath of Saggitaron

Dee found her way back down to Galactica's lower levels. She sneaks into a small maintenance closet (a 4×6' area of dead space). She grasps a pillow and blanket she had left there a weeks ago. She sits on the floor and draws her knees up to her chest and buries her face in the pillow. She begins to rock herself through overwhelming tears and mental anguish. She had found this place while wandering the halls after Lee and Kara's embarrassing boxing fight. It was dimly lit and ignored by maintenance. It was a place she could call her own. On the other side she could hear Galactica's engines constantly churning.

Thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar...thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar....

It was the constant beating of the ships heart as it digested tylium and turned it into the energy that kept them alive. Here she felt safe with the steel walls surrounding her. Here was a place where no one would know the agony she was going through, hear her crying or nightmarish screams.

Since she had her last fight with Lee, after his attack on Laura she realized that she could no longer defend her marriage with him. "This was not what marriage was supposed to be like. Why is it so hard?" Dee thought. She pulled the blanket around herself. "How could he do that?" She thought. "How could he, along with that smarmy Romo Lampkin, turn on Laura like a soulless predator and use her illness to defend a man who had no honor or caring for anyone except himself?" Even Lee's own father couldn't justify Lee's actions except for the fact that Lee was his son. Right or wrong it was a position Dee did not share and made it clear. He accused her of not understanding but she did understand all to clearly now. How could she have a child with a man who could so easily turn on or abandon it like he did her. He was no longer the Lee she fell in love with or was it her own love struck ego all this time that had pretended he was.

After Kara died or so everyone thought, Lee had become distant even to her. He would take more rotations at flying patrols and they would not even see each other for days at a time. Instead of clinging to his wife for support through the grief, he was internalizing his pain shutting her out. She had thought while she was recovering from Mellorack's sickness he was starting to return to her. During that time he was sweet, tender and caring, even tucking her in at night before his patrol duty. When she would wake he would be at her side with a tray of food or glass of water to take the pills Cottle had prescribed. When they made love it was a soulful, quiet, passionate release from the outside world.  
Later on when Bill had found and dropped off Lee's grandfathers' law books it peaked Lee's interest and he would tell her stories of the times he spent with his grandfather. Dee had thought it was good that he could take his mind of Kara's death. She grew concerned though, when his father assigned him to watch over Lampkin after the deaths of the other Defenders but she had no idea it would lead to their end too. Still, she had to hang on for Earth.

When he was assigned to Pegasus he lovingly reassured her "I'm leaving Galactica, not you." Where were those words now. She thought hopefully as she pinned his Admiral wings in the shadow box but later as he held her and poorly joked about her getting the house the words never came. "I'm leaving the military, not you."  
"Gods." She tearfully thought," Why can't he see that I still love him so much it hurts."  
But then she logically concluded after all they had been through together, her love wasn't enough. Lee Adama would always be looking for something more, never satisfied with anything or anyone who cared about him. It was his nature and he needed to be free. Was it why she chose to leave him? or was it was the old sage test. "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back...?" Even after Kara he came back he was still distant. How could she make him love her again or even stay? When they had their fights on the Pegasus it would end with her walking out or him pushing her away. After time healed the bitterness, they would get back together to discuss the situation and come to a resolution. They would once again become a loving husband and wife. She took pride in guiding the Adama men to reason by showing them the inner strengths and forcing them to look into their own mirror of right and wrong. After some strategic nudging or prodding they would come to their own just conclusions that they could accept or at least live with. Dee's grandmother had gifted her with the insight and unknown heredity of an Empath. 

An Empath of Sagittaron ranked almost as high as an Oracle of Pythia. All though the two religions were different in many ways an Empath of Saggitaron was an oracle of healing rather than seeing or conveying the will of the Gods. Empaths made good spouses to mates that have the ability to think for themselves regarding life decisions but are vulnerable to mates that derive their being from narcissism. Empaths are also known in Saggitaron Mythology to sacrifice themselves for others. Ancient Saggitaron mythological stories stated that: Should an Empath become overwhelmed from absorbing too much negativity, rather than unleashing it on the world they would throw themselves into the sea and wash up to the shore as seashells. If a person picked up the seashell and held it to their ear they could hear the Empaths answer to their question. Dee thought that was silly Saggitaron fodder because she had more of a logical mind based in science and reason. She never fully tried to understand the complexity of Saggitaron religion as a way to spite her father. It was her mother who she was special and gifted and to use it wisely. Dee always observed and seemed to know what others were feeling and needed. She was always prepared, from having a pen handy or running through paperwork, always one step ahead. She seemed always responding to the needs of others often ignoring her own. When she joined the military she found that following a path of rules, regulations and duties kept that emotional part of her suppressed and she flourished until... When Dee found herself drawn to Lee it was something she could not resist. In her heart she had felt it was as through the Gods' will they be together. Her flirtation with Billy was more about her forcing a connection so she wouldn't feel so alone after the Cylons devastated their home worlds. She cared about Billy but the connection she had with Lee wasn't there. It wasn't difficult to look at Lee's handsome face and statuesque physique but there was always something more about him that peaked her curiosity. Was he her destiny and why? 

For Lee it was almost the same, she was young but wise and reserved. Dee was also beautiful though she tried to hide it by wearing her hair in an extremely tight pony tail and kept her emotions in check. Her dress was always perfect to regulation specs but she was also very soft and feminine underneath and carried herself as a model of efficiency. Most of all it was in her soft green eyes that seemed to absorb his very being when she looked at him, almost hypnotizing but calming. She was so easy to talk to and she listened quietly while he bared his torture soul over situations he had faced or was facing. Her replies were almost mystical.

"Perhaps you wanted to do or say that." She would respond to his concerns opening his mind to view things from a different angle. It challenged him and forced him to rethink situations. 

Was she reading his his mind or playing mind games? Either way she would put him at ease and he would know what he had to do next. The time he had brushed her off while investigating the 'black market' left him with a scar he had never wanted but had to bare on his own. At the time her presence mingled too easily with his guilty memories of Gianne. Later, after accidentally being shot by Kara and even when Billy died, despite her own mourning, she stayed with him throughout his time in the sickbay almost willing him to heal. This was the strength and comforting he needed. This was when his yearning for her compassion took control, something Kara was not yet capable of revealing but Dee was. She wasn't his soulmate but she had a part of his heart he couldn't deny.   
Now, dealing with Kara was always a struggle for Lee. He remembered her with Zac and the attraction was intoxicating. They met at his funeral then again on Galactica. She was always emotionally teasing him by begging for a fight, for fun or a quick frak but never giving in. She was complicated and yet his best pilot and friend. They lived their pain on their sleeves, always conscious of the situations that they had to take responsibility for but wished there had been another way. When she pushed him away to find Anders it brought him back to being the 'Apollo' that everyone expected him to be the hero. The Apollo that Dee had fallen in love with and he fell for her with a deeper conviction.

Dee was well aware of Captain Kara Thrace. She had known her from her flying antics to expertise.   
She had known of her ability to con and use men around her. She knew she was dangerous hot shot pilot but caring in her own way. She knew she was a person she could never connect with or trust but admired her. At one time or another Dee wished she had the courage that Thrace possessed in talking smack to her superiors or getting any guy she wanted but then again that wasn't her. She would always follow the more peaceful and logical path.  
Kara's miraculous return from the dead had everyone on edge. There was something different about her. Dee could not only feel it from her husband but the rest of the crew as well. Naturally Lee would give up everything to defend her, including getting back with his wife. "She must be crazy." Dee thought but her perseverance to convince everyone that she knew the way to Earth was overpowering.   
Kara never knew how integral she would be to Dee's own life and the decisions she had to make to keep Lee steady and on a moral path. Did Kara even know how much Dee loved him or care? That every moment he was away he took her heart with him? She had forgiven him for so much when it came to Kara but to destroy his own family for Baltar? He had finally pushed Dee to far. Ever since the day Commander put the idea of Earth in motion Dee had put all of her hopes and dreams into that one little basket. When she agreed to marry Lee it was the familial connection she was looking for, she would no longer be alone. Did Lee know that he was a gatekeeper to all of the pain she hid and ran away from or that she used the uniform as a shield? The hope of finding Earth was the one thing left that kept Dee going. She blissfully thought that Earth would be the next step in her future with Lee. They had talked of starting a family while on Pegasus but she held back on the hope that Earth would be where their new life and family would begin. When the Pegasus disappeared into one of the greatest battles in Colonial history another piece of their marriage went with it.

Dee stood at the sink and washed her face and hands. She looked up to the mirror and her mouth dropped in horror as her hands and face were covered in blood. She looked down into the sink but the running water was clear. She looked back up and her face was clean and wet. She started to shake.

"You OK Dee?" Diana Seelix asked as she walked up next to her at the sink.

"Yeah, just fine." Dee cheerily but nervously smiled at her.

"You look like you saw a ghost." Seelix observed while grabbing a bar of soap and washcloth.

"Nope. Just got a bit of a chill." Dee responded while toweling her face.

"So is it true? You and Lee..." Seelix didn't want to finish.

"No, not at all. This is just something we do when we need a little time apart." Dee tried to sound as-a-matter-of-fact as she could.

"But I heard you filed." Seelix quickly jumped in.

Dee was becoming annoyed at her questions. "It's no big deal, just like a bet at a Pyramid game. Something to throw on the table. We're not going to sign or do anything any time soon"

"Well, I mean like,..You two were the perfect couple." She said turning her back to the sink leaning towards Dee.

"I mean even after Starbuck affair and all..I know everyone is pulling for you as soon as Lee gets his head out of his ass with the Baltar crap." Seelix paused. "Sorry Dee."

Dee smiled as she folded and put down the towel. "News travels fast." she thought. Everyone had been so sympathetic towards her but she felt that she didn't deserve or want pity.

"We'll be all right Seelix it's just a thing we do, it'll pass." She stated.

Dee then left the room saddened that she also bared the cost of Lee's guilt for setting Baltar free. Then again she wasn't sure he was feeling guilty at all. He had become so difficult to read since Kara had returned from the dead...

Dee woke up in her bunk screaming. First screaming for Lee and then screaming in general. Geata opened the curtain and grabbed her by the shoulders.

"Dee, Dee wake up!"he found himself shouting above her screams.

Dee was shaking then pushed herself towards the back of the bunk to get away. 

"Your dreaming Dee!" Geata said turning on the light within the bunk. "It's OK you were having a nightmare." He said calming his own voice down.

Dee heard the rest of the crew members within the room groaning and trying to go back to sleep.

"That's the third time this week." He said softly. "You want to talk about it?"  
Dee closed her eyes, inhaled and lied.

"It's this truce with the Cylons I guess. It really has me on edge. I keep dreaming that Lee goes to shake Deanna's hand and she pulls out a gun and shoots him and then all the Cylons begin killing everyone."

Geata put his hand on hers. "No, it's not an impossibility. There's a lot of people who are on edge about what Lee, Laura and the Commander have done. We're all of a sudden supposed to trust the Cylons? After all they've done? All of the good people they've killed? Destroyed our home?" Geata was now fully frustrated. She could hear his angry whispers that were getting a bit loud. It was now her turn to put Geata at ease.  
"It was just a stupid dream Geata, like some cheap B rate movie. Now you're reading too much into it."  
She laughed softly as she looked away from him.

"Just close my curtain. I really need to try and sleep." she said leaning back.  
Geata reached over to turn off the light but Dee stopped his hand with hers. Geata nodded, closed the curtain and hopped back to his bunk.

For the next few weeks she tried to reassure herself she was fine. She got up everyday showered, put on her uniform and went to work. She smiled and performed her duties with extreme preciseness. At night while everyone slept she would leave her bunk and go down to her closet where Galactica's engines kept her nightmares safe.

Thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar...thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar....

"She stopped breathing half an hour ago." Dee says dreamily to Billy and President Rosalyn. She puts out her blood covered hands as if to show them proof the woman had bled out and died. Rosalyn instructs Billy to use a command voice to bring her around. In the next moment Billy is yelling at her.

"Lt Dualla, snap out of it!" 

Dazed she looks down and across the room to see's Lee lying on the floor. He chest is bleeding profusely. Dee scrambles on the floor to his aid pressing her hands on his chest to apply pressure to the wound.

Lee looks up and says. "Are you sure you didn't mean to say yes?" 

"Billy, get some towels or something to stop the bleeding! She glances towards him then back to Lee.

Lee's face changes to Billy's as she tries to apply more pressure.

"Yes, yes!" She yells out. "If it will keep you alive Billy. Yes I will marry you!"

Billy smiles as she holds his hand and he starts to fade away from her, dying. 

She nods for a second as Billy becomes Lee in his hospital bed. 

"Dee,..will you...marry me?" Lee asks softly as he fades in and out.

"Yes." She replies. "If it will keep you alive, then yes." She knows it's just the anesthesia talking.  
Suddenly Lee's wound begins to reopen and blood start pouring from one wound then another and another. Her eyes grow wide with fear. She grasps Lee's hand as hard as she can, gripping, kissing and praying. She looks up to tell him..

"You have to stay Lee, you really.." She is now grasping Bill Adama's hand in the CIC. 

"Why did you leave my son Dee?" He barks sitting up from the control desk. His chest is covered in blood. 

"All you had to do was apply pressure but now he's dead?"

"No, no!" Dee gets up and starts walking backwards terrified.

"I didn't sir, I tried to stop the bleeding but I don't know I,.."

"Another mistake Dee? Mistakes cost lives Petty Officer Dualla!" Colonel Tigh barks from her side.

Dee turns then backs up into Laura Rosalyn who is very angry.

"You should have said yes Lt!" She is also yelling at Dee.

"Look, this is Billy's blood!" Laura holds out her palms.

"Perhaps if you had said yes, Billy would still be alive!" She yells at the top of her voice.

Dee turns to run from the CIC but runs into Sharon who had used her father's pocket knife to not only slit both of her arms but her throat too. She grabs Dee with bloody hands. 

"You should have listened to your father Dee. The Military is no place for Sagittarons but it is for Cylons!" Dee trips and falls as she runs through the CIC doors. She falls onto dry dusty ground and finds herself lying next to Sgt Fisher.

"Sgt Fisher?" Dee says to him but he is lying still. The pinging of sniper fire hits near her.

"Sgt. Fisher, we have to get out of here!" She commands.

She turns him over to see half of his face is gone, exploded by a Cylon shrapnel bullet. She can see his brains and eyeball dangling through what is left of his his blood covered face. She tries to scream but can't. She gets up to run. Every time she is thrown down next to his body only to turn it over again and again and again with blood covered hands. When she can finally wake up she is screaming again. Her forehead and palms are just sweaty but in her mind she is covered in blood. 

Thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar...thump, thump, shudder, shudder, roar. 

Lee seemed just a temporary anchor to her own reality. He was her escape from all of the nightmares. The promise of a beautiful life together on Earth. How could she forgive him every time? Easy. He would promise her he would change but like her dreams, he was changing all the time. Just when they got close he would be off on another self-righteous crusade. The more she lost faith in him the stronger the nightmares became. Tonight there was still hope, a reconciliation after his speech to the new Quorum. A chance to change destiny.

Earlier that day, when he was faltering for what to tell the Quorum about Earth. Pleasantly she approached him. She told him to just tell them the truth, be honest, be Apollo(the Apollo she fell in love with and married despite all of her own trepidation's). When he asked her out for a drink after the speech her heart leapt but she had to maintain control to be sure if it was real. She walked towards him to see it in his eyes. That he was finally seeing her again she said "It's a date." In the back of her mind she thought. "Was that what our marriage summed up to be? A few good times?" Dee realized that she wasn't watching him leave with joy but a steel sense of trying to hold herself together. 

Later that evening, Dee just needed to feel that in him there was something left to hold on to. She smiled and laughed at his bad predictable jokes. He complained about how whiny and annoying the civilians he was representing were. Finally, they shared a few beautiful and funny memories of their time on Pegasus and she wished the night would never end. As they walked down the hallway hand in hand she felt a warmth she had not felt in a long time. "Maybe it was just the Ambrosia." she warmly thought. As she leaned up for their goodnight kiss, she felt his beautiful mouth breathing her in like so many times before but yet there was something wrong. During the kiss she could hear the ocean. In her mind she see's him standing on a beach getting farther and farther away as the ocean waves keep pulling her out to sea. 

"It's time." Her thoughts and pain calmly surrender.

"Lee Adama. I'll always love you, it's been an honor sir." She thinks as she looks to his beautiful blue eyes and smile.  
Instead, just for him she returns her brightest smile as she opens the hatch and slides through the doorway. 

Except for a brief interruption by Geata she goes on to fulfill her destiny as an Empath of Saggitaron.

END


End file.
